Potency problems with the man – How should SHE behave?
For a man it is a perceived disaster when his best piece suddenly – and possibly not for the first time – fails. It is likely that he will then turn in and turn away from his partner. Who wants to experience such an embarrassing and awkward moment more often than necessary? Now it is up to his partner to take care of his erectile dysfunction through confident behavior.
Whether this aplomb is present in young women is unclear. Sovereignty requires a certain maturity. Erectile dysfunction no longer affects only middle-aged men, but increasingly young men as well.
The extent to which factors such as fast food nutrition, stress or alcohol are to blame for this is not to be the topic here. Rather, it is a matter of how you can properly keep yourself as a partner.
Potency problems in men – what now??
The partner of a man who has potency problems is dealing with someone who is deeply insecure and affected. Men identify themselves by their potency and virility. For her, sexual performance is much more important than for the woman.
Therefore, his counterpart should know that now is a very sensitive moment. At this moment, partners can do a lot wrong. Affected men, however, also. Both should make themselves clear: It is not a catastrophe that has happened – but something that affects millions of men.
On the man’s side there are fears of failure, insecurity and fear of impotence. As a result, many men evade any conversation. They inform themselves about sexual enhancers like Viagra instead of talking to their partner.
On the part of the partner in such cases, frustration may be felt. She may feel annoyance at the fact that no reasonable conversation about the dysfunction is achieved. The man blocks. He feels pitied, patronized or even laughed at.
It is difficult for women that they often feel guilty for the alleged drama. Some women doubt their attractiveness, their seduction skills or others. Although almost every woman is preoccupied with her own feelings in this situation, she should now turn to the man’s feelings.
This matter concerns both. Therefore, only both can find solutions together. Mutual recriminations do not contribute to solving the problem.
Together everything goes better!
no erectile dysfunction is over the following day. It usually takes a long time for treatments or lifestyle changes to take effect. Various factors can be identified as causes of erectile dysfunction.
Besides changeable circumstances, these are also possible diseases. Both partners should not put pressure on each other at this time. Patience and planned action are much more helpful. Any kind of additional stress makes the problem worse.
First, the woman should clarify in a calm conversation that she has the necessary patience. She should signal that she does not think he is a failure. Love does not only consist of good sex. Now would be the opportunity to address own needs in this direction.
In addition, the couple could make a list of possible culprits together. First of all, the organic causes should be clarified. Possible organic causes would be:
- vascular reasons such as circulatory problems,
- Neurogenic causes, such as damage to the nervous system,
- endocrine problems, for example hormonal imbalances,
- as well as cavernous reasons, for example tissue damage to the corpus cavernosum.
It is important for the man to see a urologist about his erectile dysfunction. If such reasons are present, they must be treated. In many cases, the erectile dysfunction will then go away.
Incidentally, other reasons may also have led to the failure to have sex. The man should be encouraged to have them clarified. Diseases that can be announced by erectile dysfunction are:
- Hypertension,
- metabolic problems such as diabetes mellitus,
- Arteriosclerosis,
- Parkinson’s disease,
- Multisystem Atrophy,
- or multiple sclerosis.
In addition, some medications taken long-term can lead to erectile dysfunction. It is therefore not a good solution to counter an erectile problem with the purchase of Viagra, as long as the health situation has not been clarified.
The doctor will prescribe Viagra by itself if no physical disease requiring treatment has been identified as the cause. In fact, the causes of erectile dysfunction are usually multicausal.
Stress and life-related factors also play a role
It is usually more difficult for the partner to address possible psychological causes for the potency problem. Emotional problems easily make men with acute erectile dysfunction look like wimps or failures.
Many of those affected are simply afraid of failing permanently, of no longer being able to satisfy their partners and of only feeling like half a man. Fear of losing a relationship can also play a role.
It requires some tact on the part of the partner not to say the wrong thing. The now necessary openness and honesty to bring possible causes to the table is a difficult job.
First of all, the sexual partner should always confirm her affection for him. There should be no pushing towards doctor visits or massive lifestyle changes.
After calm discussions, the man should realize on his own that a visit to the doctor makes sense. He should recognize that stress, false expectations of one’s own potency, professional or self-imposed pressure to perform, or other psychological factors may have been contributory causes.
It is not up to the partner to throw these things at her partner as an accusation.
All conversations should be factual. They can be backed up with information from the Internet. Generalizations or expressions of pity are not appropriate.
It is more a matter of searching together with a detective’s eye for the reasons for the potency problems. The perceptions and observations of the partner can be an important help here. The quality of a relationship grows with crises. It can prove itself in these.
What if every attempt at conversation is blocked off?
If the man refuses to talk to you, a temporary separation can make sense. Sometimes men prefer to seek advice from a male friend rather than clarify with a woman what can be done.
The love partner should avoid informing the best friend of the person affected. Your partner may see this as a betrayal. This puts the relationship in troubled waters.
It is much better to advise the person affected to talk about the problem with his best friend on his own initiative. Even the tip to do research on the Internet can have positive consequences.
Some men need some time to breathe before talking, so that the shock can subside. It is possible to have the due conversation accompanied therapeutically.
Suitable contact addresses would be marriage counseling or couple therapists. Sharing with men also affected by erectile dysfunction can also be helpful. Self-help groups or reputable, medically supervised Internet forums are suitable for this purpose.
Without patience and attention nothing will improve
The time frame in which erectile dysfunction can be remedied varies from man to man. Both partners need patience with each other. They should cuddle a lot and look for other ways to show their affection. It is important that there is no pressure to perform the sexual act as usual. Many roads lead to Rome.
It is important to get closer to the possible causes in the first step. In the second step, the identified perpetrators must be eliminated. In the case of organic causes, the problem can usually be solved by locally applied medication, mechanical aids or surgical interventions.
Without a discussion of the given possibilities, no couple will move forward. Mental abusers are often more difficult to bear for the person concerned. But they are much easier to turn off.
Whether a psychologist can help is to be clarified as well as the desirable changes in lifestyle. Nutritional deficits, alcoholic sins or nicotine consumption can be contributors to erectile dysfunction.
Acceptance is often the first step to a solution
With acceptance of the situation, everything often relaxes. The shock could be overcome, the man looks ahead. Negative beliefs and fears have been expressed. Ideally, they have been replaced by better attitudes.
The woman has supported the partner in his journey as much as possible. Crises are overcome through a process of learning. But they also lead to both partners getting to know each other better.
Often initial obstacles are overcome by a good attitude of the partner. The man feels relief when his fears turn out to be groundless.
He may now know that he can satisfy his partner in a different way and that he will also get his own money’s worth. Each couple decides for itself what is the right way to renewed happiness in love.
Alone it works, with you however not
It is important to create a relaxed and trusting atmosphere in which both can talk about everything. Creating freedom from stress is a good start for the partner. Both had expectations about the relationship and sex. Often these are not expressed directly.
As a result, men often develop misconceptions about their appearance in bed. The woman does well to see sexual disorders as a prelude to clarifying conversations. Erectile dysfunction offers risks as well as opportunities to improve and deepen the relationship.
We have to this topic also with Bernd Apfelbacher of the advice portal potenzmittel.info spoken. Mr. Apfelbacher started to deal with the topic of men’s health out of his own motivation. He says on the subject:
„Erectile dysfunction is usually a gradual process. It is important to note that erectile dysfunction, especially in middle-aged men, does not necessarily have physical causes. In numerous conversations with other sufferers I have found out that in many men external influences such as stress at work or (sexual) fear of failure are the causes of temporary erectile dysfunction. These issues can usually be resolved as a couple through open communication.“
